Blog Archive

9.29.2009

Korea was awesome!


I hit Korea pretty hard. The trip began with me riding my bicycle in the dark with no sleep with all my worldly goods in a shopping bag to catch the ferry. 12 hours later I was wandering through the university area of Busan on a street food crawl realizing I don’t speak Korean. Unfortunate.

12 hours after that I am standing naked in front of 200 Korean women wondering how this whole communal bathing thing works. Luckly a young woman and her mom and her grandma showed me the ropes. Its really a shame this will never catch on in America. I can only dream about the possibilities if Vegas got involved.

24 hours after that I am training in the Zen martial arts at an ancient Buddhist temple in the mountains. The Zen master there died while meditating, aka he killed himself with his mind. Hardcore to the max.

20 hours after that I am wandering back to my hostel at 7am in Seoul with a Japanese artist troupe.

10 hours later I am lost in the back alleys of the antique dealers being creeped on by a sweaty nervous serial killer.

24 hours later I am bargaining for a red leather biker jacket (for my future scooter gang) from a Korean man who is telling me I should get rid of my pimple. I agree.

12 hours after that I am walking home from dancing till 6am and invited to Korean BBQ with some new friends who are taking shots and giving me all of their clothes.

20 hours after that I am dancing to my ipod running against 70mph winds on the deck of a cruise liner watching the lights of Busan fade away. Before I was alone, one traveler was playing the guitar, one lone wolf was practicing the flute, and two drunk old men joined us to skip around in the wind.

And now I am just back in my living room.


9.28.2009

Movements


TRANSPORTATION

I gained a lot of respect for the art of movement in Ghana. There I realized just because you get on a bus, doesn’t mean you will go anywhere and just because you find a seat, doesn’t mean you will keep it to yourself. I was also humbled by how many things must gracefully align in order to stay alive while in movement.

For my one day trip to Nagasaki I moved myself in various ways. I rode a bike, I took a ferry, I got on a bus, I walked, I got on some cable cars, then I took a different ferry, and then ran I few miles in the dark. I think people take transportation for granted, as a thing that happens in-between real things. But once you start to think of it as a real thing in itself, it becomes truly amazing. I mean, there are so many ways of moving that I did not even touch: motorcycle, swimming, helicopter, sailboat, parachute, rollerblades….and as my friend pointed out in Japan, the electric unicycle. “Traveling” seems to get overshadowed by the act of being somewhere new. And while I felt the need to go somewhere newer and shake off some dust, I was looking forward to the act of flinging myself forward in various ways. I decided I would attempt to get myself to Seoul, Korea.

The highlights of Korean transport were hitch hiking with some female monks in their sedan and being the only person on a cruise liner deck at night leaving Busan harbor. (Dance party ensued of course) I felt incredibly lucky to be moving in these ways. I was neither here nor there, and there is something liberating about slipping through those cracks in space.

MEDITATION

During my days as a Buddist monk in the ancient city of Gyeonju I came to understand a different type of movement – movement of the mind and soul.

9.15.2009

Classroom Oddities

Sometimes it's the 13 year old boy with the purple pencil case with charms, or the 11 year old girl with the marijuana canteen.

Or when after 6th period all the students wash the floor by hand to "Sleigh Bells."

Sometimes it’s the special needs girl and her assistant teacher that fall asleep together every class.

It's the English teacher that asks me questions in front of class to demonstrate a dialogue, but I can’t understand what he is trying to say.

Sometimes it’s the random smacks to the face that teachers give the students.

Or when its lunch time, but it looks more like an HazMat drill.

It’s when all the students and teachers brush their teeth everyday at 1:13pm.

And sometimes it's when you go to the bathroom to take a nap and realize the only Western style toilet in there is but a plastic facade placed on top of a squatter.


The Sports Festival



SPORTS DAY

At all Elementary, Junior High, and High Schools there is a sports festival where students do various sports-esque demonstrations for the community. It's a pretty big deal. I can maybe alike it to Homecoming, but without the exciting social maneuvers concerning popularity contests and formal dances. If there is any drama going down, I am still too culturally dense and language impaired to pick up on it.

I don’t know why they have Sports Day during the hottest time of the year, because many students have fainted, or fallen ill, or collapsed, or started crying over the past few weeks of practices. For three weekends in a row I have attended these events, and while I enjoy the novelty of something new, I sometimes feel the need to yell, “What the hell is GOING ON?” (and sometimes I do, because nobody gets it as long as I am smiling) and dearly wish you could be sitting next to me so we could make witty commentary on what we think all the speeches and to-do are about.



Here is last week’s Sports Day Festival in a nutshell:

Normal enough ceremonial crap and group stretching, spectators included (Picture principals in suits doing lunges):


Army formations and the marching begins:


Impressive gymnastics:


More impressive gymnastics:



Races and Special Races (Picture me on a relay team of principals racing around some cones with a wheel and stick)

Stunts that have never once worked in practice:

I told you the girl ALWAYS and WILL ALWAYS fall off the top:

Old Grandpa and baby team ball throwing competition:

A monkey throws some candy and chases a water bearer:

Fight over old tires:

The worst spirit dance of ALL TIME:

Power Rangers show up…

It's a shame this only happens once a year.


9.12.2009

You Can Touch Nature, and Nature Can Touch You


That was a line from the textbook we went over in class last week. What are they teaching these kids?

Anyways, like I said I have been trying to reconnect with nature and trying to understand the Japanese relationship with nature as well. So far its proved too early to move beyond cursing the ridiculous recycling system and crying at the whale meat in the supermarket. Unfortunately my efforts are being mocked by one mosquito. The past 5 nights at exactly 5am, it comes and buzzes right in my ear. I feel like I am being bullied. I even hide completely under the covers and it still will come back right where my ear is. I hear it coming and it makes me nervous. Then I hide. Anxiety rises. I swat like a mental patient at the air and it comes back as soon as I lie back down. This. is. war.

There are also a lot of crows here. I used to hate them too, because they get really loud early in the morning. It sounds like they are eating their babies. But after watching this:
I am intrigued. I also think it is an interesting coincidence that Japan has a lot of vending machines. I would like a pet crow. For those of you that don't know, last year my roommate brought a pigeon home. We had him for one month. His name was Mr. Henry and I miss him, God rest his soul.

Some nature on nature action

9.11.2009

Eggshells


Trying to figure out how to act around here is like trying to get out of quick sand. The more you struggle over it, the more stuck you become. It can drive you MAD, thinking about how you are supposed to be acting, if people really mean what they are saying, and if your feet are actually too dirty to leave the house. Even though I ditched most of it, I blame Tokyo Orientation for bringing to light all the possible things that can go wrong, stereotyping the Japanese with a laundry list of intimidating cultural taboos and nuances, and slapping me out of my naivety.

I have been spending too much time trying to recognize signals of Japanese “culture” in my colleagues and fellow townspeople. I think I latched onto these observations in a desperate attempt for social orientation. Of course, being completely deaf, mute and illiterate may have been a contributing factor to wandering down this path to insanity.

It took a couple of obasans at Tai Chi class, an intense Volleyball game, and fresh crab dinner to pull me back from the slippery slope towards “Stage 2” (another Tokyo Orientation contribution, a term for possibly infinite feelings of frustration, depression, suicide, etc.).

Tai Chi: Tai Chi is hard. I am like a gorilla at a tea party. And I can’t even laugh. But I enjoy it, and it agrees with my early retirement lifestyle. At our last class some obasans whipped out those metal balls you see in Chinatown, except way more legit because they weighed almost 2 kilos, and tried to rotate the balls in their palms. All of a sudden I realized the different expressions on all of these ladies faces: Pain, Concentration, Bashfulness, Frustration. It was amazing! All at once I saw different expressions, and then different human beings who were far from perfect (ok, a few were perfect). This is the first time I have seen the likes of something in common with myself.

Volleyball: Excuse me, I mean Ballyball, was quite the experience the other night. Some teachers invited me to play with them when they were drunk at my welcome party. I was really excited about this, until I realized that what happens at an enkai (the party), is NEVER to be mentioned again. Seriously, party like nobody will remember, because nobody will acknowledge that it happened. Naturally I was torn, but I went ahead and brought it up. My teacher came and picked me up (I felt like rather skeptically) and asked me if I even know the rules, etc… We pulled up to the school gym. My god, the entire town was there AND we were late, so I made a grand entrance. I played one game and do you know what happened? I hit the ball. Why would I do that? Because it was coming at me. What pursued? The entire adult league of Uonome town broke out into cheers and hi-fived me. I was like the tiny kid that saves the day and gets lifted up onto everyones shoulders to hold the trophy. I would just like to thank God for his miracle hand that guided me, a foreigner and a girl, to hit a ball.

Fresh, fresh crab: One of my teachers invited me over for dinner. I hate eating alone. He had caught the crabs practically right outside the building. This dinner was really nice because I got to know his daughters, my first one on one time with students, and it felt very full circle: Community, friendship, nature, food… Sorry you just had to be there. I am trying to reconnect with nature, (starting by eating it), after what LA has done to me.



9.04.2009

Hello! My Name Is Kelly.


I have been giving introductions to each class. I was planning to start with the video of me skydiving in order to convince them I am cool, but alas, mom could not find it, and so I don't have much to work with. Basically there are 4 main things I show them...

I am from the U.S. (is he trying not to laugh?):
My Family (I made the mistake of asking them which one they thought I was :(, no answer is ok to that question):
My Dog (cute, kawai desu ne?):
My Boyfriend (they eventually ask if I have one...):

It helps pass the time.


First Day of School, Again!


Because I am teaching at 4 schools, I get four first days of school. Yay…

Elementary school is wonderful. If I could go back to Elementary school I would. Elementary was some good times. I can’t believe I’m back. And I can’t believe I have crossed over to the other side as Miss Kelly Teacher.

I REALLY can’t believe I am back in middle school though. Why would I do this voluntarily? Middle school was some awkward times. I would like to let you know that Middle school is still awkward and is universally awkward. It is a myth that middle schoolers are awkward. It is actually the institution itself. When you step into its lair you, and everything else around you, becomes awkward.


ELEMENTARY VS. MIDDLE SCHOOL

I stroll up to the Elementary school. Girls wave and boys make funny faces at me. We all laugh together. We shout Hello! Nice to meet you! I shake hands and network with the kids. Later we play life or death rock paper scissor games and run around. All the kids want to know if I am married. I walk into Kindergarten. The tiny five year olds gasp, and watch me with awe. They join me in song and dance. They ask me what my favorite bug is. Have you ever seen something so cute it turned the world into cotton candy and put little tears in your eyes? Well I have. I love elementary because everything is either hilarious or a heralding victory. What a model for life.

I walk into middle school. BAM! A massive zit appears on face. The kids are already on the field doing their military P.E. formations. I try and stalk them later in the day. They see me coming down the hall and start moving away from me. I hear someone yell, "I cannot speak English!" I desperately move towards the straggler from the pack. He knows he is vulnerable. I say something…”Hello! Do you play sports?” Everyone laughs. He hangs his head. I stand there alone and wonder what went wrong.

SOME THINGS I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE APPRECIATED BEING SAID TO ME…

Teacher in the morning: "Hi, so how is your life?"

Teacher in front of class: “So, what boy in this class would you like?”

...still in front of class: "So, do you drink? What is your favorite alcohol."

Principal at welcome party: “Mr. X sensei has lots of money because he is a virgin”

9.01.2009

The First Day of School


Sometime around 9am I stepped on a child. This is only because Japan apparently hasn’t heard of mops. For all the intuitive technology and efficient design in this country, mops are not in the picture. Why do mops matter? Because the beginning of each day there is a cleaning period. Everyone including the vice principal get down and dirty. I joined the sweeping team and later moved onto the Cinderella method of scrubbing the floor…of the entire school. As I was cleaning my rag I stepped backwards. Of course, there was a child on ground right behind me.

Next I went to the opening ceremony in the gym. It started at 9:30. I walked in at 9:27 and I was late. I also was not wearing shoes. Usually this wouldn’t matter, but everyone else was wearing shoes. Thanks for the memo.

A part of me was excited for the assembly, “YAY Assembly!” Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, Japanese assemblies are not very fun. I stood perfectly still for one hour. The kids stood in perfect ascending height order. One student seemed to be wavering out of perfect stance formation. The nurse, with her superhero powers, ran over and got to him right as he passed out. The assembly continued perfectly unaffected. 10 minutes later another kid went down. There is also lots of perfect bowing. One bows to the audience then to the podium, then walks to the podium and bows to the audience, who bows back. When finished, one walks away, bows to the empty podium and stands back in place. Sometimes there are a couple bows thrown in there for more flavor. One also bows to the gym as one exits, even if nobody is in the gym. I have a hard time doing this. My body just refuses to bow to no one. Will I ever break down?

It is also perfectly acceptable to administer a few light slams to the children once in a while. On the top of the head is always a favorite.

Man. I messed up at lunch too. I didn’t finish in time. It took me too long to eat, so the rice cemented to my bowl, which means I couldn’t get it all out with the chopsticks, which was a huge embarrassment. I also lack the skill to pick each sesame seed. Every last crumb must be eaten! But I am out of time. My milk spills. Teachers comment it's the chopsticks. I laugh, but cry inside. FAIL.

I am struggling with two forces. One, to be the best teacher I can be, to act a fool, to make kiddy friends, to seize the moment. Two, to accept I don’t know how to go about that, that I don’t know where everyone has gone, that I don’t know what is going on, and that I scare the children. GANBATTE!