Eggshells

Trying to figure out how to act around here is like trying to get out of quick sand. The more you struggle over it, the more stuck you become. It can drive you MAD, thinking about how you are supposed to be acting, if people really mean what they are saying, and if your feet are actually too dirty to leave the house. Even though I ditched most of it, I blame Tokyo Orientation for bringing to light all the possible things that can go wrong, stereotyping the Japanese with a laundry list of intimidating cultural taboos and nuances, and slapping me out of my naivety.

I have been spending too much time trying to recognize signals of Japanese “culture” in my colleagues and fellow townspeople. I think I latched onto these observations in a desperate attempt for social orientation. Of course, being completely deaf, mute and illiterate may have been a contributing factor to wandering down this path to insanity.

It took a couple of obasans at Tai Chi class, an intense Volleyball game, and fresh crab dinner to pull me back from the slippery slope towards “Stage 2” (another Tokyo Orientation contribution, a term for possibly infinite feelings of frustration, depression, suicide, etc.).

Tai Chi: Tai Chi is hard. I am like a gorilla at a tea party. And I can’t even laugh. But I enjoy it, and it agrees with my early retirement lifestyle. At our last class some obasans whipped out those metal balls you see in Chinatown, except way more legit because they weighed almost 2 kilos, and tried to rotate the balls in their palms. All of a sudden I realized the different expressions on all of these ladies faces: Pain, Concentration, Bashfulness, Frustration. It was amazing! All at once I saw different expressions, and then different human beings who were far from perfect (ok, a few were perfect). This is the first time I have seen the likes of something in common with myself.

Volleyball: Excuse me, I mean Ballyball, was quite the experience the other night. Some teachers invited me to play with them when they were drunk at my welcome party. I was really excited about this, until I realized that what happens at an enkai (the party), is NEVER to be mentioned again. Seriously, party like nobody will remember, because nobody will acknowledge that it happened. Naturally I was torn, but I went ahead and brought it up. My teacher came and picked me up (I felt like rather skeptically) and asked me if I even know the rules, etc… We pulled up to the school gym. My god, the entire town was there AND we were late, so I made a grand entrance. I played one game and do you know what happened? I hit the ball. Why would I do that? Because it was coming at me. What pursued? The entire adult league of Uonome town broke out into cheers and hi-fived me. I was like the tiny kid that saves the day and gets lifted up onto everyones shoulders to hold the trophy. I would just like to thank God for his miracle hand that guided me, a foreigner and a girl, to hit a ball.

Fresh, fresh crab: One of my teachers invited me over for dinner. I hate eating alone. He had caught the crabs practically right outside the building. This dinner was really nice because I got to know his daughters, my first one on one time with students, and it felt very full circle: Community, friendship, nature, food… Sorry you just had to be there. I am trying to reconnect with nature, (starting by eating it), after what LA has done to me.