Everything Happens For a Reason?

While looking for American slang to put on my English Board that nobody looks at in the school where I have nothing to do, I came across this phrase for ESL learners on the internet:

“The Japanese are an easy mark because they usually carry cash.
 (Meaning likely victims).”

And then I had an epiphanic moment, where my daydreams flashed back to a phrase often taught to and repeated by Japanese students…”I have no money!”

And so I once again felt that feeling that everything happens for a reason. Today my students spent the English period memorizing “His word makes me happy,” and “Don’t ask me about my broken heart.” I am now of course, looking forward to the day the universe sheds more light on why 12 year old Japanese students will need to know these phrases as well.

I imagine the first sentence to reference the coming reformation, where the young armies from Jesus Camp will take over America, and any Japanese tourist will need to pronounce their devotion to Jesus Christ on the spot. Maybe the former phrase will come in handy when all the Japanese girls wise up and realize all the hot gajin men they get attention from are actually socially awkward losers. I know that sounds harsh, but see the Urban Dictionary entry for clarification…

	yellow fever
	A mental disease that afflicts the Wapanese, the fanboys, and the otaku. Symptoms of this condition are; (a) A sexual obsession towards females of Asian descent. (b) An obsession towards Asian media and entertainment, primarily anime, hentai, manga, and other Japanese media. (c) A sudden urge to imitate anything from Asia. For instance, learning Japanese and eating sushi just for the sheer sake of trying to be "Asian". (d) Thinking that one knows more about Japan than the Japanese themselves, despite never setting foot in that country or at lest reading about it. An Asian-American girl was harassed by some psycho who had a bad case of yellow fever. Fortunately, she had a can of Mace(tm) in her purse and did not hesitate to use it on him.

I am still in need of some slang to teach. Since the PTA probably looks at my board more than anyone, I think I need something more appropriate than, say “yellow fever.” “Couch potato” is apparently a Japanese word. I learned this after I drew an awesome picture, thinking I was doing something really productive for once. I just can’t bring myself to introduce the word “dork” into a middle school, and I already tried to teach “Respect my Authoritay” and “That’s hardcore,” but they didn’t get it. No fun.