Imagine This

IMAGINE THIS

Imagine a world where the UPS man sprints to and from his truck.

Where the mailman calls you on your cell to meet you to deliver a letter when you aren’t home,

Strangers buy your dinner,

And the cashier of McDonalds personally comes to your table and apologizes profusely for the sauce you asked to not be on your burger,

Where every package is easy to open,

People leave treats on your desk when you aren’t looking,

And taxi drivers say “thank you for your hard work” when you get in,

Where buses and police cars say “Good Morning” to you on their megaphones as they pass,

Cashiers follow you 3 blocks to give you back your change you forgot to take,

And people make their trash into pretty bows,

Where there is a word for your imaginary “other” stomach so you can eat more,

The land is covered with a network of speakers so that all townspeople hear the morning announcements,

And your coffee table is a heater,

Where someone will drive 40 minutes just to bring you a slice of cake since you missed out at the office,

On the way to school you pass an 800 year old shrine,

And you catch your own dinner.

And now back to being awkward…

Imagine a world where there are air raid sirens and you don’t know why.

Where you bow to space,

Gargle water after coming in contact with children,

And sneeze into a mask you have to wear all day,

Where you can’t be the first to leave work,

Snowmen are only two balls,

And kickball innings are only 2 outs,

Where, school children practice marching and military formations,

People have ridiculous drunken shenanigans and then pretend nothing ever happened,

And the policeman will follow you back to your house if you forgot your license.

Where skirts could not be any shorter,

Socks could not be any longer,

And people publicly view porn.

Where the mystery meat is whale or raw horse,

Its normal to bathe naked with your co-workers,

And kids try and stick their finger up your butthole,

(Annnnnnd I am still illiterate.)