I woke up this morning a little confused about where I was. After 11 months there are still some days it takes me 3 seconds to realize I am in this house alone, and then another 1 second to realize that this house is in Japan.
But I had the most amazing dream! I rode my bike to the beach in the middle of the night. The tide was high but shallow, so I walked out 100 yards underneath stars that filled in the sky from mountain to mountain, with the calm ocean stretching out like a giant pool around me. And when I looked down I saw a trail of sparkles. Waving may hands through the water made swirls of light! My body was shimmering! I was transformed into a magical sea creature. My hands looked like the soft giant paws of Leo running through the sky. My legs turned into a mermaids tail bursting with light. I was transfixed in each individual sparkle of transformation, and there were thousands of them.
And then, as I started to gather my stuff to leave for school I caught my sandals in the doorway. They were filled with sand.
6.17.2010
This insect is CRAZY!
When I came back from the bathroom a teacher was spraying a rather GIANT looking wasp thing behind my desk. The other teachers were standing outside the room, so I asked if it was the type of bug that stings and hurts. They said, "No hurt, You DIE! YOU DIE!"
When I came to Japan people told me about the poisonous centipede, the mucade!, and the posionous snake, the mamushi! but no one ever told me about this bad ass hornet, the most poisonous hornet in all of Asia, the one that each year in Japan causes more deaths than "all other venomous and non-venomous wild animals combined, including wild bears and venomous snakes!"
I did some research (wikipedia, national geographic) and this is the most fascinating insect I have ever come across!
It can fly 25mph. That is faster than the legal speed limit of my scooter!
It can decapitate 40 honeybees per minute, a few can wipe out a 30,000 bee colony in hours!
These honeybees defense is a trap in which thousands of them make the hornet overheat by luring it inside the hive and then they flap their wings until it gets to 115 degrees!
The venom can dissolve human tissue and has an enzyme which attracts more hornets to the victim!
and
"They are excellent mothers" ...?
And then I read this..."Adult hornets feed their young by chewing the flesh of their victims into a gooey paste that the offspring devour. The larvae are well fed, and in turn provide the adults with a powerful energy-boosting cocktail in their saliva. It's called vespa amino acid mixture, or VAAM."
AND WHAT DID I DRINK LAST NIGHT... why a energy drink someone gave me:
When I came to Japan people told me about the poisonous centipede, the mucade!, and the posionous snake, the mamushi! but no one ever told me about this bad ass hornet, the most poisonous hornet in all of Asia, the one that each year in Japan causes more deaths than "all other venomous and non-venomous wild animals combined, including wild bears and venomous snakes!"
I did some research (wikipedia, national geographic) and this is the most fascinating insect I have ever come across!
It can fly 25mph. That is faster than the legal speed limit of my scooter!
It can decapitate 40 honeybees per minute, a few can wipe out a 30,000 bee colony in hours!
These honeybees defense is a trap in which thousands of them make the hornet overheat by luring it inside the hive and then they flap their wings until it gets to 115 degrees!
The venom can dissolve human tissue and has an enzyme which attracts more hornets to the victim!
and
"They are excellent mothers" ...?
And then I read this..."Adult hornets feed their young by chewing the flesh of their victims into a gooey paste that the offspring devour. The larvae are well fed, and in turn provide the adults with a powerful energy-boosting cocktail in their saliva. It's called vespa amino acid mixture, or VAAM."
AND WHAT DID I DRINK LAST NIGHT... why a energy drink someone gave me:
6.16.2010
The magical road
I have found a way to time travel! Usually when I plan to just ride around the block I end up on top of a mountain. It’s probably less to do with getting inspired than it is to do with the geography of Kamigoto. Seeing as how most roads lead to one, it really isn’t hard to end up on top of a mountain,
This particular mountain adds to my LOST fantasy. When I found it the first time, the road appeared to end in dense forest at a fenced in “facility” of some kind. This time I took the road around the back, thinking it would loop around the building, but instead it started to go down. Its practically impossible to turn around and go home when you are going downhill through a mysterious tunnel of ferns when you have no place to be and nobody knows where you are. There were so many twists and turns, I lost track of what direction I was heading. The road was clean though; a perfect smooth snaking blacktop through lush green forest and smokey dusk. There was only space in my head for exhilaration. I have long since let go of questioning why there are perfectly new roads in the middle of nowhere. That is one of those Japanese things.
But, this road came out into a timeless agrarian valley. The magical road.
The mountains turn into fields at almost a 90 degree angle, making a powerful frame for the blazing orange and pink sunset that was reflecting in the new rice paddy water. Nothing can describe my feeling of awe. I rode up, undiscovered, behind the only other person around, an old man on a mama cherrie. I didn’t have the heart to say excuse me or pass him. The man was singing and putting along until he turned down another road. I was invisible to him, but he was the center of my world in that minute. Some house lights were turning on. There were no cars to be seen. Just peace and the crunching of dirt underneath my tire.
I’ve been back to this road many times, and each time I have seen something new.
Once I turned the corner to face 3 cats lying in the path. From afar they looked like sweet country cats, cousins or something. Up close they tried to jump me for my lunch money. I just narrowly passed, only to find crabs scurrying away from me with their claws held high ready to defend themselves. I laughed at how worried they seemed and at their uncanny resemblance to the stereotypical portrayal of Japanese people, fearful of big scary foreigners and ready to yell “take anything you want!” I may be big and may be scary with my red hair looking a bit electrically charged in this humidity, but I usually leave my gun at home.
The most magical time I went to this magical road was at night to see fireflies. I didn’t know this at the time, but it is the most famous spot in all the Gotos for firefly viewing. There are over 40 firefly species in Japan, and you can only see them for about 2 weeks. (I saw this translated news article of the annual firefly viewing on Ojika, another island. Please note the last caption.) Everyone on the island seemed to know this viewing was happening, except for me. At the turn off, community volunteers in vests, waving glowsticks, helped people park, the path was lit with special red lights, and there was an ice cream truck!
As you walk into the darkness, fireflies start to blink in the forest alongside you. The valley narrows at the end of the fields and turns into a river. Over this river there were literally hundreds of fireflies, their jazz jamming with their own reflections in the water. There were some floating up to the sky and sometimes you couldn’t tell what were the stars, and what were the fireflies. It seemed the stars were coming down to dance. We all agreed it was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen. There was something so profoundly stunning and magical that resulted in a proportional feeling of absolute loneliness. I think because it is rare to know in the exact moment, rather than after the fact, that its beauty is once in a lifetime.
This particular mountain adds to my LOST fantasy. When I found it the first time, the road appeared to end in dense forest at a fenced in “facility” of some kind. This time I took the road around the back, thinking it would loop around the building, but instead it started to go down. Its practically impossible to turn around and go home when you are going downhill through a mysterious tunnel of ferns when you have no place to be and nobody knows where you are. There were so many twists and turns, I lost track of what direction I was heading. The road was clean though; a perfect smooth snaking blacktop through lush green forest and smokey dusk. There was only space in my head for exhilaration. I have long since let go of questioning why there are perfectly new roads in the middle of nowhere. That is one of those Japanese things.
But, this road came out into a timeless agrarian valley. The magical road.
The mountains turn into fields at almost a 90 degree angle, making a powerful frame for the blazing orange and pink sunset that was reflecting in the new rice paddy water. Nothing can describe my feeling of awe. I rode up, undiscovered, behind the only other person around, an old man on a mama cherrie. I didn’t have the heart to say excuse me or pass him. The man was singing and putting along until he turned down another road. I was invisible to him, but he was the center of my world in that minute. Some house lights were turning on. There were no cars to be seen. Just peace and the crunching of dirt underneath my tire.
I’ve been back to this road many times, and each time I have seen something new.
Once I turned the corner to face 3 cats lying in the path. From afar they looked like sweet country cats, cousins or something. Up close they tried to jump me for my lunch money. I just narrowly passed, only to find crabs scurrying away from me with their claws held high ready to defend themselves. I laughed at how worried they seemed and at their uncanny resemblance to the stereotypical portrayal of Japanese people, fearful of big scary foreigners and ready to yell “take anything you want!” I may be big and may be scary with my red hair looking a bit electrically charged in this humidity, but I usually leave my gun at home.
The most magical time I went to this magical road was at night to see fireflies. I didn’t know this at the time, but it is the most famous spot in all the Gotos for firefly viewing. There are over 40 firefly species in Japan, and you can only see them for about 2 weeks. (I saw this translated news article of the annual firefly viewing on Ojika, another island. Please note the last caption.) Everyone on the island seemed to know this viewing was happening, except for me. At the turn off, community volunteers in vests, waving glowsticks, helped people park, the path was lit with special red lights, and there was an ice cream truck!
As you walk into the darkness, fireflies start to blink in the forest alongside you. The valley narrows at the end of the fields and turns into a river. Over this river there were literally hundreds of fireflies, their jazz jamming with their own reflections in the water. There were some floating up to the sky and sometimes you couldn’t tell what were the stars, and what were the fireflies. It seemed the stars were coming down to dance. We all agreed it was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen. There was something so profoundly stunning and magical that resulted in a proportional feeling of absolute loneliness. I think because it is rare to know in the exact moment, rather than after the fact, that its beauty is once in a lifetime.
Ha-re-ru-ya! Ha-re-ru-ooooo-ya!
I realized I haven’t mentioned karaoke yet! I think if there were three things that summarize the material Japanese landscape they would be:
#1 Vending Machines – I have only seen drink and cigarette machines. No, I have not seen any panty vending machines. I will wonder to my dying day why there are no snack vending machines. While the abandoned island to the north has a population of zero (...), there is still one vending machine, from which I enjoyed a cold beer.
#2 Pachinko Parlors – I have been in one Pachinko Parlor, just long enough to realize it is an alternate universe of zombies playing for convenience store food, and I escaped before blood started coming out of my ears from the incessant noise of hundreds of miniature pseudo pinball machines.
#3 Karaoke – Speaking from my brief jaunts onto the mainland, karaoke happens by default when you go out, and are wondering what to do next, usually between 1-4am. There are giant Karaoke houses open 24 hours. You rent a room for a certain amount of time and order unlimited drinks by telephone.
Honorable Mention: Snack Bars – NOT a place to go for snacks. I have never been in one, but I did send a willing couch surfer to do some reconnaissance, and their reports confer with others descriptions, that snack bars are seedier versions of hostess bars. You pay a lot to talk to a woman, levels of attractiveness significantly vary, while drinking beer and eating dried squid.
The fact that my island has TWO miniature Karaoke places may be a testament to the prevalence of this cultural pastime. I have only been when enkais (organized work drinking parties) take me there, which I feel has made for some real “authentic” experiences. By the time I find myself at either “Melody” or “Pegasus,” my coworkers have already been drinking and eating for a good 4 hours. This doesn’t mean they take Karaoke lightly.
At my welcome party I was offered the mic first. I knew this was a big moment. I had to pick a song that did not require vocal skills, that Japanese people would know, that would show I can simultaneously act a fool and take Karaoke seriously. I’m sure most of you understand that this naturally means Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some guidelines for Japanese Karaoke I have learned since, if you will:
-You will sing. Just like you WILL eat your peas before you leave the dinner table. The nice way, or the shove it in your face way, you will sing.
-The background videos will never make sense. I’ve seen fabio riding on Route 66, businessmen lying depressed the forest, waves crashing upon lovers, etc… all with no correlation to the song.
-You cannot casually share your song with other people.
-There are entertaining snippets of English in many Japanese songs. For example, “My little girl, my little girl. Oh desire morning,” or “Stop! Love Always Oooooh uh uh uh.” My personal favorite, “Hallelujah,” which written in Japanese, can only get as close as “Ha-re-ru-ya”
-If you take requests, expect “I Will Always Love You,” or something by Celine Dion.
The first time I took requests I had to sing “My Heart Will Go On.” That should have been the last time I took requests.
But one particular enkai, I humored both my Vice Principal’s strange obsession with “Country Road,” and my co-teachers farewell duet request for “We Are the World. We Are the Children.” He declared it was important to sing before I go to Africa, and he sang it on his knees.
At my last enkai I vowed it would be the last time I went to karaoke without a song already in mind. This is because when I didn’t know what to pick, they asked for Mariah Carrey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You.” “Really,” I said. “It’s June.”
#1 Vending Machines – I have only seen drink and cigarette machines. No, I have not seen any panty vending machines. I will wonder to my dying day why there are no snack vending machines. While the abandoned island to the north has a population of zero (...), there is still one vending machine, from which I enjoyed a cold beer.
#2 Pachinko Parlors – I have been in one Pachinko Parlor, just long enough to realize it is an alternate universe of zombies playing for convenience store food, and I escaped before blood started coming out of my ears from the incessant noise of hundreds of miniature pseudo pinball machines.
#3 Karaoke – Speaking from my brief jaunts onto the mainland, karaoke happens by default when you go out, and are wondering what to do next, usually between 1-4am. There are giant Karaoke houses open 24 hours. You rent a room for a certain amount of time and order unlimited drinks by telephone.
Honorable Mention: Snack Bars – NOT a place to go for snacks. I have never been in one, but I did send a willing couch surfer to do some reconnaissance, and their reports confer with others descriptions, that snack bars are seedier versions of hostess bars. You pay a lot to talk to a woman, levels of attractiveness significantly vary, while drinking beer and eating dried squid.
The fact that my island has TWO miniature Karaoke places may be a testament to the prevalence of this cultural pastime. I have only been when enkais (organized work drinking parties) take me there, which I feel has made for some real “authentic” experiences. By the time I find myself at either “Melody” or “Pegasus,” my coworkers have already been drinking and eating for a good 4 hours. This doesn’t mean they take Karaoke lightly.
At my welcome party I was offered the mic first. I knew this was a big moment. I had to pick a song that did not require vocal skills, that Japanese people would know, that would show I can simultaneously act a fool and take Karaoke seriously. I’m sure most of you understand that this naturally means Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some guidelines for Japanese Karaoke I have learned since, if you will:
-You will sing. Just like you WILL eat your peas before you leave the dinner table. The nice way, or the shove it in your face way, you will sing.
-The background videos will never make sense. I’ve seen fabio riding on Route 66, businessmen lying depressed the forest, waves crashing upon lovers, etc… all with no correlation to the song.
-You cannot casually share your song with other people.
-There are entertaining snippets of English in many Japanese songs. For example, “My little girl, my little girl. Oh desire morning,” or “Stop! Love Always Oooooh uh uh uh.” My personal favorite, “Hallelujah,” which written in Japanese, can only get as close as “Ha-re-ru-ya”
-If you take requests, expect “I Will Always Love You,” or something by Celine Dion.
The first time I took requests I had to sing “My Heart Will Go On.” That should have been the last time I took requests.
But one particular enkai, I humored both my Vice Principal’s strange obsession with “Country Road,” and my co-teachers farewell duet request for “We Are the World. We Are the Children.” He declared it was important to sing before I go to Africa, and he sang it on his knees.
At my last enkai I vowed it would be the last time I went to karaoke without a song already in mind. This is because when I didn’t know what to pick, they asked for Mariah Carrey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You.” “Really,” I said. “It’s June.”
6.07.2010
Triathlon Fever
I feel extremely bored sitting at my desk with nothing to do the day after the triathlon. I know better. I know that I could be swimming with the fishies or flying down a mountain at 40mph on a skinny bike screaming "DAHHHHHHHH", or running through a quiant fishing village with stunningly clear toquoise water. I think I have a case of triathlon fever.
Before the race I was deeling with the "feeling a bit too casual" jitters. Here, people don't even casually go for a jog around the block. But all in all is was TOPS. I was high for hours after. In fact I might still be high.
Some higlights of the race:
~Tiny Japanese women trying to ride me like I'm a freaking whale at Sea World during the swimming portion.
~My swim cap...a duck. Never underestimate the Japanese appreciation for cute things. It is very powerful.
~The course: I literally went from being in the sea to on top of a mountain overlooking the sea all the way to China. Twice.
~The spectators: Little ancient village women in their gardening getup (read full on sun protection with bonnets) cheering us on. From their expressions, I think they got the same kick out of me as I did out of them.
~The oldest competitor: A 77 year old man. Baller. Should I feel proud that I beat this man? (I was the second yougest, by 10 years! The 13 year old didn't even break a sweat)
~My competition: Japan's Iron Man athletes. (The Iron Man race was cancelled this year because of foot and mouth disease. It is THE Iron Man and it is held on the island to the south of me, so a few came here instead.) This took the pressure off us regular folk, aka me.
~And the winners: a HOT couple that knew they were the shiz and had matching gear, from sunglasses to shoes. (in Japan couples like to match) I like to imagine they order the same drinks, have matching his and hers sport toothbrushes, and viciously compete for everything.
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